Back to the future and it was another road trip, more mind numbing then Nic "Clintons" Ciardini's IQ, up to Northwood Park to see if March would yield yet more away maximums, following on from 'fill-yer-boots' Feb. 4 away wins on the trot?! Won't somebody please think of the children! The pain of the Kempston piss up fest cancellation still weighed heavy, but time's a healer. Deep breaths everyone. After nearly killing 2 old men outside of a nearby allotment, we were lucky to make it to the ground with 21 seconds to go, offer our so solid £8 and take our positions up against a fence.... of which there was plenty. Is there a greater feeling then venturing into the surroundings of a brand new non-league ground?! It's our craic.
On paper, we all knew this should be a walk in the park, ironic given the fact we didn't move from our chosen observation point once inside. The Woody's had visited the Fleetists last time out and were handed their arses on a plate by all the goals in 7. Obviously the argument could be made that their manager would be looking for some sort of a reaction to that result, always worth remembering they were only edged out by a single goal at the Royston Potato chips 2 weeks prior too, so they were more then capable of turning up. That said.... diplomacy isn't our forte. Nothing more then an away spanker would suffice
Team news and there were a couple of tweaks from the starting line up which took to the field in the Neighbours omnibus with Fleet 11 days prior. Perry "The Hoffen" Coles was in for "The Fire Engine" and theBoroWalk favourite Keith "Reggie" Emmerson returned to the brigade to run his utility prowess as centre back in place of the hooky Curtis "Mayfield" Osano.
Northwood kicked off and the Boro set off, at pace, to take the game to the homers. "Clintons" was looking hungry for a
Fresh from the customary misspelling of his name, on the teamsheet, John "Tiny Dancer" Oyenuga would quickstep his way down the line and win a corner. As we all passive aggressively crossed our fingers that we wouldn't waste it going short, that man "clintons" bent his delivery in with more bend then one of his patio chairs.... Cue havoc in the 6 yard box as the ball appeared to bounce, hit the cross-stick, then present itself like a cheap prostitute for someone to nod home. Step forward Josh "the Salmon" Huggins, obviously, to face plant home into the ballbag. 1-0
So now time to let the procession commence... a march towards a comfortable away win and boosting the goal difference, right? No... that would be far too simple. Chances weren't in short supply. Perry "the Hoffen" Coles striking the ballbag stick, around the half hour mark sticks in the mind. There was also another audacious half way line effort from Scott "Castrol" Donnelly which had the ballbag protector squirming like Sean Spicer.
In true Boro style though, obviously we needed that jeopardy effect again to keep ourselves interested and it arrived in good time as the Woodys broke down the wing and a low cross saw "Tiny Dancer" and one of their strike-men go for contact. Ref called for the spotkick, don't really have an opinion as I sneezed so didn't really see if it was a just call or not. But fuck it... WHAT A DISGRACEFUL DECISION!!! Some prick stepped up and sent "The Slayer" more far right then Nigel Farage's moustache comb. 1-1
Boro continued to have the lion's share in the remainder of the pre-cuppa minutes. "Castrol" continued to illustrate that he'd left his shooting boots in the car as he first faffed a dribbler towards the keeper and then, following good work from "clintons", volleyed a ball into orbit as he adopted what can only be descriped as karate kid technique.
HT 1-1. It was clear to see that Boro had the superior technical ability, but it did have the feel of a performance that we were just struggling to slipstream into that top gear. We were more Chris Evans then Clarkson and co. No bother though... the HT team talk would iron that out.
We started the 2nd half fairly brightly, adopting a shoot on site approach from our first 2 attacks. From then though, the game kind of went all schadenfreude.
A free kick from the left hand side was floated in and the Boro defense made their entry for the Darwin awards. Some prick ghosted into the area and nodded home completely unmarked, as "the Slayer" and "Fogle" aired their first live performance of the 2 man show "Titanic hits iceberg". 1-2 A fairly lengthy delay would follow as it became clear "The Slayer" would have to come off. Step forward our substitute ballbag protector.... Oh fuck.... we havent got one. So for the 2nd time in 3 games it fell to an outfielder to take on the sweaty privilege of "going in". This time the epic game of rock,paper, scissors was won by CJ "Pammy" Fearns and the cap'n strolled fearlessly into the frying pan. Jack "Mischa" Barton came into the action for "the Slayer", who would head off to the local infirmary.
Meanwhile, "Fogle" was up and giving it the Monty Python "it's only a flesh wound, I can still bite you" routine. He only lasted a couple of minutes more as he was forced off. Infact it would be a double substitution as Eddie "Gillette" Smith and "the Fire Engine" would come into the action... Jordan "GoalDen" Graham the other retiree.
So there we were, 2-1 down... outfield player in goal, 4 strikers on... it had the feeling of going 1 of 2 ways. Luckily, the change in the Boro's purpose was more striking then Southern Rail. "Mischa" Barton won the ball in midfield and laid it off to "Clintons". Buoyed by the fact it wasn't him in goal again, he drove at the homers and carved an avenue to centre it to "the Hoffen" but the defender wasn't having any of it and sliced it deep into his ballbag protector's ballbag. 2-2!
With the wind in our sales it was all Boro now as a "Reggie" hail mary clearance was flicked on by Pat "Butcher" Cox, "Gillette" laid it off to "the Hoffen" who worked the defender over and sent him into early retirement. Sumptuous footwork allowed him to plant a low piledriver at the ballbag protector who could only flick his wrists at it and take an assist as "Gillette" was on hand to cut us mach into the lead. Absolute euphoria for the travelling hordes as we were deservedly leaders of the free world once again. 3-2!
"Butcher" and "the Hoffen" both had decent chances to put the game to bed, but we didn't have long to wait. A throughball cut the Woody's defence in half like a skewer through the kebab joint at Grandma Buggins. The "Butcher" would calmly round the keeper but, pushed wide, had the nouse to calmly slide it to "Gillette" who, in turn, would lay it in to the path of the on-rushing "Castrol" who cooly side stepped the defender and despatched his load into the ballbag. A thing of beauty. 4-2
All over. 4-2
theBoroWalk motm :- "Clintons" probably just edged man of the match over "Castrol" for his unrelenting effort.
When the chips were down, the experienced heads took charge. Special 'word up', also, for "Mischa" Barton who played his cameo perfectly. He was winning balls like a kid at a funfair basketball stall, but then looking for the simple offload to his more creative peers... that's what he does, great to see.
If we can harness that determination and unity... we'll be more pro-motion then a Beyonce twerking video in slow-mo.
A blow to lose "the Slayer", we hope to see him back between the sticks as soon as is flippin' possible. "Fogle's" knee needs some TLC, give him a walkman with waterfalls on loop.
Next up? Only bloody Royston potato peelers.
